This afternoon proved to be quite interesting. I went to my site mate Geneva’s house to spend the night on the way to a girl’s conference meeting in Iringa. When I arrived she was having her weekly English club meeting. Geneva informed me that I would be a guest speaker at this meeting, so I headed straight to the classroom. When I arrived I was told that I was just in time for the conversation about vampires. Sweet.
Basically, Geneva’s English club is awesome and it is just a question/answer session where the kids can ask anything and we get to ask them anything to help them practice their English/do a little cultural exchange.
It was quite amusing so I thought I’d share some of the dialogue with you!!!!
USA-Geneva and I
TZ-Have you ever killed a vampire and if so, how many have you killed?
USA-No, remember, we’ve already said that vampires aren’t real . . .
TZ-So vampires are like dogs?
USA-First of all, remember vampires don’t exist. And they just have fangs like dogs so they can suck blood.
(Sidenote: the student asking this question was wearing a straw cowboy hat and a purple shirt with green writing that said: If you think I’m a bitch, you should meet my mother)
TZ-What’s the difference between vampires and zombies and how do you kill them both?
USA-Vampires drink blood and zombies eat brains. You kill a vampire by sticking a wooden stake through their heart (further explanation on what a stake is ensued, but since you probably know I won’t go into that) and you kill a zombie by cutting off its head. But remember, vampires and zombies AREN’T real . . .
TZ-Since 75% of Americans are said to have a good life, what can you tell us is the secret?
USA-Wait, what??? 75%?? Where did that number come from?
(Sidenote: At this point, a long existential conversation about what a good life actually is pursued. We won’t get into the details, but I think you can figure it out.)
Free masons came up a lot. To the point where it is no longer amusing to me so I am not going to include questions on it.
USA-How many of you believe in witches?
TZ- Over half of the class raises their hands
(Sidenote: To understand the next question, you have to know that there is one student of Geneva’s who wears just one glove. All the time.)
USA: Why do you only wear one glove?? Where is the other glove??? Did you lose it?? What, is your one hand cold?? Do you want to be like Michael or something?
TZ-Because it is hard to write with a glove on my right hand.
Conclusion-I lead a strange life.