Almost the end of term! Only two more weeks, then it is Thanksgiving and December. My December plans are officially in the books, and they are somewhat ridiculous (…ly AWESOME). I am not going to give them away quite yet, as thinking about it is a mind blow, but I am crazy excited.
Many of my recent teaching topics in school have been quite dull and require me to write a bunch of notes on the board. Doing this mindless task, I have so much time to think. Maybe it is the hundreds of eyes boring holes in my back, or the heat, or the scary noises the tin roof makes as it expands and contracts with the sight of the sun, or some combination of the three, but my mind wanders to the strangest places during these times.
Today, as I was writing notes about fire classes for my form I class, I thought how funny it would be if someone could hear my thoughts as I stand, writing notes in front of 50 students in the middle of Africa. Because (to the best of my knowledge) you cannot read thoughts, I am going to try to recreate them here, with words:
Thoughts going through my head in one double period (sorry if the connections aren’t obvious—my mind works in mysterious ways):
Thanksgiving is going to be awesome, and December is going to be crazy.
How can Michael C. Hall be so creepy and so good looking at the same time? The Germans wore grey, you wore blue. ‘Casablanca’ is such a good movie. Monkey butts are funny. Why do my kids have to learn all of the classes of fire when we don’t teach them ‘stop, drop, and roll’? I am going to teach them it anyways. I would get a lot of laughs if I demonstrated it….oh, but the floor is dirty, and I’m in a skirt…maybe a bad idea. I wonder if the chimps’ butts will be funny too. Have I ever seen a chimp? I love the pretty flowers that bloom on random trees even at the end of dry season. I am going to start my garden this weekend. I wonder how Eddie is doing?
Ah! Why does the roof make that noise? I am going to have a heart attack one of these days because of it. The next time I am writing these notes I am going to be just about to leave Africa. Is ‘likelihood’ spelled like that? It is a silly looking word. The hologram belt buckle on my new Tanzania belt is queer, I wonder if they will let me switch it. I hope we have rice and not ugali for lunch today.
Oh, just gave my student a high five for getting an answer right, and he kissed his hand afterwards—super creepy, going to stop doing that. Where have all the cowboys gone? My mind is full of gibberish. Maybe I need a nap. I hope Bridge isn’t eating my solar chargers and digging up my courtyard. Did I shut the bathroom door? Shoot, if not she will surely have chewed up the toilet paper. That was my last roll! Must go into the village later to get more.
Just wrote on the board that one way to prevent fires is to not pour flammable liquids down the sink. That was silly, who in here would have ever seen a sink before? I wish I was wearing jeans and I was taller so I could make use of the whole chalkboard. Piercing my ears by myself because I was bored was probably not the best idea—my right hole really hurts. I want some stuffing. Or chili. A chiliburger with stuffing on the side. I wonder if anyone has ever put stuffing in a hamburger? I’m gonna try that one day. It would be super weird if humans had exoskeletons instead of endoskeletons. I should buy some more kitange and get a dress made. I wish I wasn’t broke. I’m gonna watch Elf tonight. I wonder what they would do if I sung to them that class E fires are fires caused by electrical equipment? Oh, they laughed, and probably think I am weird now. Actually, I am pretty sure they thought that before I sang. Actually, I am pretty sure I am weird. Mtu wa ajabu. Mama always said there would be days like this.
How old am I ? Why can’t I remember my age? After 21, it doesn’t really matter much I guess. My mind is a jungle, which is appropriate because I am sort of in a jungle. Maybe this is jungle fever—or, wait…
My arm is tired. Maybe writing notes all day will eventually turn me into a beast. Oh, ow! Chalk in the eye, blink it out. Ok, not working. Cry it out. Wipe eye casually so students don’t see tears. Writing with chalk that I have warmed in one of my hands is so much easier. Starfish are really cool animals. Wouldn’t it be crazy if we could cut off one finger and grow two or three more in its place? I wonder what their pain sensors are like? Time to introduce rust. Oh, crap, what was the word for rust in Swahili? Katu—or, no, kutu. Saved by the bell. Chai Time.
Moral of the story: I need a vacation.